For children, recognizing emotions and knowing how to calm them can be difficult. What we may be able to easily see as joy, sadness, or anger may not be as easily labeled for a child. Knowing how emotions look and feel can be helpful in concepts such as emotional regulation, social skills, and other coping methods. Anger and anxiety are emotions we commonly see children kids struggle to identify and regulate.
Recognizing Anger
Anger is a natural human emotion that occurs when we face a challenge, barrier, or unpleasant situation. For kids, this can occur for a multitude of reasons, including being denied access to a certain item or experience, underlying mental health concerns, or a lack of proper communication and coping skills needed to help manage their anger.
Anger can manifest in different ways. These can include:
- Having tantrums
- Throwing objects
- Yelling
- Crying
- Becoming physically aggressive
- Isolating themselves
It’s important to understand these different behaviors are all common responses to anger, so we can recognize signs that children may be struggling with this emotion. We can also teach kids to recognize signs of anger, so they can implement effective coping strategies that can help ease their frustration.
Signs that a child could be starting to feel angry include:
- Heavy breathing
- Redness in their face
- Clenched teeth or jaw
- Clenched fists or muscles
- Sweating
- Increased heartbeat
- Stomach issues
- Headache
These physical signs can be detected by the child themselves. Once kids know to recognize these signs of anger starting to bubble up, they can learn how to use appropriate coping strategies to lessen the symptoms.
Coping Methods
Coping skills are effective, appropriate ways for all of us to manage difficult emotions, such as anger. Teaching children these methods can set them up for success in the future. While anger in and of itself is not a “bad” emotion, taken to the extreme it can cause a lot of heartache in adulthood, affecting everything from relationships to the workplace. Anger can be a difficult emotion to control, but it’s not impossible. Some healthy coping strategies for anger include:
- Walking away from the situation
- Deep breathing
- Doing a fun activity (drawing, playing outside, etc.)
- Talking about their anger/feelings
- Writing in a journal
- Physical activity
- Using a stress ball
These are all great ways to help a child learn to manage their anger. Once they learn these strategies, they can be better prepared for the next time they experience those inner demons.
Recognizing Anxiety
Anxiety is another emotion that can be tough to recognize and regulate. Anxiety is an emotion that typically results when we are feeling fearful, worried, nervous, or stressed. Children experience anxiety for many different reasons, which can include significant life changes, social situations, traumatic events, bullying, family dynamics, academic reasons, separation from parents or guardians, and underlying mental health concerns.
Like anger, anxiety can present in different ways. These include:
- Avoidance of certain people or activities
- Difficulty sleeping
- Tremors
- Restlessness
- Consistently asking for reassurance
- Significant attachment to parents or caregivers
- Stomachaches
- Headaches
- Mood swings
As you can see, many of these symptoms manifest physically, which can be helpful in order to help our kids recognize when they may be feeling anxious. When children are able to recognize these warning signs, they are better equipped to implement appropriate coping strategies to lessen the fear or anxiety they may be feeling.
While anxiety is a common emotion for kids and adults alike, it can also be indicative of a mental health disorder. If you are noticing excessive worry, fear, restlessness, irritability, avoidance, etc., in your child, consider reaching out to your primary care physician or a licensed mental health professional for a potential diagnosis. Anxiety is a condition that with the right tools, is very treatable.
Coping Methods
There are many effective coping skills that kids can use to manage anxiety. These strategies mainly focus on bringing the child back to the present, and out of whatever thought may be causing the anxiety. Some coping strategies for anxiety include:
- Talking about the anxiety
- Deep breathing
- Doing a fun activity (drawing, playing outside, etc.)
- Listening to music
- Writing in a journal
- Yoga
- Physical Activity
- Finding a safe space
Practicing these coping skills with your child can help them to implement these practices more easily when they’re experiencing anxiety. It can also help set them up for success the next time they have anxious feelings—tools they can carry into adulthood.
Therapy is also a great way for children to learn about and manage their emotions. Therapeutic interventions are proven to help people of all ages learn to recognize emotions, enhance their emotional regulation skills, and learn effective coping strategies to manage their emotions.
If you feel that your child would benefit from therapy, reach out to us here, email info@deepwatermichigan.com, or call 734-203-0183 x 700 to learn more or schedule an appointment. Deepwater Counseling is also offering a series of free workshops for kids specifically designed to help them manage anger and/or anxiety. Click here to learn more!
-By Molly Mundorf, Counseling Intern