Parenting is one of the hardest jobs out there. Being an effective parent can be a difficult balance of implementing effective communication, parenting skills, and self-care. Let’s take a look at how these tools can improve the relationship between parent and child, and overall family wellbeing.
Communication
Communication is a cornerstone of effective parenting. Communication with kids should be based on trust, safety, and connection. Enhancing communication between you and your child can be done through active listening, acceptance, and using appropriate language.
What is active listening?
Active listening helps to show whomever you are communicating with that you are present with them and care about the topic at hand. Active listening can be portrayed through eye contact and body language. Maintaining eye contact with your child while in conversation, facing towards the child, and leaning in towards them are all ways you can show you are actively listening.
What is acceptance?
Showing acceptance while talking with your child can establish trust. An accepting attitude includes displaying unconditional love and having an open mind. Creating that trust can open the door for more honest, open communication between you and your child.
What is appropriate language?
To enhance communication with children, try using age-appropriate language while talking. This looks like using words kids can understand, helping them name their emotions, and validating the emotions that are being shared—even the tough ones!
Parenting Skills
Improving parenting skills can also help to enhance the parent-child relationship and overall family well-being. Parenting skills can include consistency and recognizing how emotions manifest in children versus adults.
Why is consistency important?
Children thrive on routine. Providing consistency throughout the day helps them prepare for the day, reduces stress and anxiety, and creates a sense of safety. Consistency within the family is an important skill to practice as a parent. Fostering this skill creates a sense of comfort and safety for the child, and therefore improves your entire family’s overall well-being.
Emotions in Children vs. Adults
An important thing to remember as a parent is that kids experience emotions differently than adults do. As children haven’t fully developed yet, emotions tend to lack logic or a filter—this is normal. Emotional outbursts are more likely to occur in kids rather than adults, and they tend to act more on their emotional impulses. As a parent, it’s important to understand that children may lack the ability to rationalize their emotions. As an adult, you can validate these emotions and model how to appropriately handle those feelings. Allowing kids to have the space to express their emotions fosters a better relationship with you and increases trust in the relationship.
Self-Care
Parenting is hard! While having kids is rewarding, it can also be draining. So it’s important to make sure that you practice self-care in order to be effective parents. As the saying goes, “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” Self-care involves things that improve your mental, physical, and emotional wellbeing. Self-care activities can span all different types of activities. No matter what the activity, it is important to prioritize self-care as a parent, in order to strengthen your parenting skills.
Here are some examples:
- Drawing
- Writing
- Physical activity
- Getting proper sleep
- Eating healthy
- Deep breathing/meditation
- Spending time with loved ones
- Cleaning/organizing
- Volunteering
Because we are all different, what might be self-care for one person may not be for another—and that’s okay! We all have our own interests and hobbies. You’ll know what relaxes and recharges you.
Recognizing Burnout
Burnout is when you reach a point of physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. This can occur after experiencing prolonged stress. Part of self-care is recognizing when you are feeling burned out.
Signs of burnout can include:
- Increased irritability
- Feeling drained
- Difficulty concentrating
- Headaches
- Low self-esteem
- Social isolation
- Difficulty sleeping
- Changes in appetite
Recognizing these signs in yourself can help you prevent burnout. When noticing these signs, implementing self-care practices can help to decrease burnout and overall stress. Practicing self-care can improve your own mental health as well as overall family dynamics.
Getting Help
Did I mention parenting is hard? Whether you're struggling with burnout or just need a little guidance, we're here for you. Sometimes we all need a little assistance and there is certainly no shame in that. In fact, here at Deepwater Counseling, we have several therapists and interns who specialize in parenting skills! Reach out here, contact us at info@deepwatermichigan.com, or call 734.203.0183 ext. 700 to learn more or schedule an appointment. Interested in our free workshop series on parenting? Click here for more details.
-By Molly Mundorf, Counseling Intern